How To make Judicial Misconduct Beef, Pork, Sausage Chili

3 lb Ground beef, the leanest,
-chili grind 2 lb Round steak, extra lean (or
-flank steak), cubed 1 lb Pork shoulder, extra lean,
-chili grind or cubed 1 lb Linguica or andouille
-sausage, chopped fine 3 Purple onions, large,
-chopped small 3 Walla Walla Sweet Onions, or
-other sweet onion 6 Garlic cloves, finely
-minced 2 c Green Chiles, chopped
-(Ortega or other good -brand) 2 Green peppers, chopped
-small 2 Red peppers, chopped small
2 Celery ribs, minced
1/4 c Parsley, minced
8 T Chili powder (GebhardtUs or
-other good brand) 2 T Cumin, ground
2 T Spanish sweet paprika
2 T Oregano, dried (preferably
-the Greek variety) 4 Red peppers, dried (or 2
-tblsp crushed) 2 t Black pepper, freshly
-ground 1 t MSG (Accent)
2 t Salt
1 t Coriander (crushed or
-ground) 2 T Maggi Seasoning
1/4 c Tiger Sauce
16 oz Beef broth
2 c Tomato sauce (15 oz. Each)
1 c Tomato paste (12 oz)
1 c Italian plum tomatoes,
-whole, diced 2 T Masa Harina (or flour)
1 lb Black beans (optional),
-soaked overnight 1 Beer from a good
-microbrewery like Ballard -Bitters -Walla Walla sweets, diced, -for garnish -Monterey Jack cheese, -shredded, for garnish Wash beans carefully and soak in enough salted water overnight to cover them by 2 inches of water. Bring to a boil and simmer the next day until tender (usually 2-3 hours). In the meantime, heat 2 tblsp of oil in a large, heavy skillet. Add garlic, onions, bell peppers, and celery. Cook until the onions are clear. Remove and reserve. Mix ground meats. Add 1 T. Oil to skillet and saute meat, cooking on high heat until thoroughly browned. Drain fat. Remove ground meat and reserve. Brown cubed meat, drain, and reserve. Place reserved vegetables and meats in chili pot along with linguica (or Andouille). Add all remaining vegetables, spices and liquids (except the beer, Masa Harina, or beans), a little at a time, stirring and mixing thoroughly between additions. Carefully bring temperature up to a simmer. Cook covered on very low heat approximately 5 hours. Adjust the consistency after 3 hours. If too thin, uncover and reduce by turning up heat (carefully) slightly. If it is still not the desired consistency, add masa harina (or flour) to thicken, beer to thin, as needed. Taste and adjust for spices carefully (the flavor will develop as the chili cooks). It should be hot enough to be memorable, but not so hot it takes the skin off the roof of your mouth. ItUs better to sneak up on hot. You canUt take it out. If it cries out to be hotter, add just enough Louisiana hot sauce. Finally, and only if you absolutely must, add the beans. A chili purist would jettison them without a second thought. If you canUt bring yourself to do it, but want to serve the chili beanless as God intended, serve the beans on the side and let people indulge their own leguminous perversions. Serve topped with chopped Walla Walla sweets, shredded Monterey Jack cheese, and a pinch of parsley.